Things I Love

1. The Grand Holiday Dress from Antrhopologie, $118



2. American Eagle Koin Kitten Heel from Payless, $24.99



3. Kenney Mary Jane Wedge from Payless, $17.99



4. Women's Lightweight Intarsia Sweater from Old Navy, $20

Doing a poor job of staying optimistic.

I can't say that much has happened in the three months since I last posted. Everything is pretty much the same, with the exception that I finally finished my classes at Coyne. I started my externship about a week and a half ago, and for the most part I love it! I'm at a private practice for five cardiologists and one endocrinologist, and they have me doing billing. The down side of billing is definitely the collections calls, and I know exactly what some of the people I call are going through. I'm in the same spot myself, and don't know how I'm going to pay April's rent, let alone make a credit card or cell phone payment. So I have a lot of sympathy for those people. I do enjoy following up on claims and solving problems and feeling like I accomplished something at the end of the day, so billing isn't all bad.

I will admit that I am a little disappointed with the externship in general, because my concentration is coding, and at this practice the doctors do all their own coding, so I am not getting any experience whatsoever. I feel like it's a waste of resources, because I know I'm good at it and I could probably make them a lot more money, but whatever, it's their loss. The other problem I have with it is how far away it is. It's only 13 miles, but I have to drive and it takes about 40 minutes to get there in the morning and an hour and a half to get home at night. Chicago traffic is THE WORST. It's like that every single day, too! The crappy thing is if they were able to offer me a job (which they have already said they regretfully can't) I would take it in a heartbeat because I can't even find anything to apply for here in the city.

In general I'm feeling very pessimistic about finding a job. All of the coding jobs want 3-5 years experience, and I can't find anything for billing. I really hope I don't have to go to a temp agency, because I don't think I could handle a high stress CSR job right now... I feel like I've done my time as a CSR and I shouldn't have to do it ever again, haha.

Overall I love my externship and what I do there, and I love going to work and the people I work with. Another bonus is that drug reps come to the office about 3 times a week and they always bring catered lunches for us! Usually it's just me and the rep in the break room for about half an hour while they wait for a doctor to come by for two minutes to make a sales pitch. Sometimes it's weird because the rep just sits there and watches me eat, and it can be a little uncomfortable, but I have also had some great conversations and met some really great people.

Basically that's my life, because I don't have money to go out. I miss Wine Wednesdays and going out 3 nights a week. Now I shop at Aldi and wash my clothes in the sink. On Fridays I nerd it up with Scott and Ann and watch Battlestar on my couch, but there are only 2 episodes left of the series, so I don't know what we're going to do after it ends. I haven't seen my family since January, and I miss them so freaking much. Actually, I haven't seen Jon or Lauren since Christmas! I would love to take a weekend trip and go to MI, but it seems like something is going on every weekend here, and I can't afford it right now anyway.

Blah. I think I have the winter blahs. I wish it were 80 degrees and I was packing for a week long camping trip with my family...

Thanksgiving

It's been a while since I posted! The next one may very well be titled "Christmas" at the rate I'm going. Nothing new to report, which I think means I'm getting old, if I can go almost an entire month and have everything stay the same. Scott started his new job last week, and it's going well so far. I think he likes it there, and they are compensating him handsomely, so even if he hates it from time to time at least he will feel it's worth his while to be there. I get to see him out the door every morning, and he looks so yummy in his Express pants and ties and sweaters and combed hair and freshly shaved face... Mmm, I love the smell of his shaving cream! In the spirit of Thanksgiving, I wish I could properly express how thankful I am to have him in my life, and that we found each other, and for the million reasons I love him, but words elude me. I'm not the most eloquent person you know, haha.

Man, it's only 4:40pm but the sun has already set. Good thing I wake up between 6 and 7 every morning or I wouldn't see any daylight at all! I still have 2 hours before Scott comes home from work, and then he still has to pack, and then we have to pack up the car, and then we have a 300 mile drive to Livonia. Hopefully we will have missed the holiday traffic, since we are getting a late start. That's probably the only plus to leaving so late. I also hope the weather is clear, especially around the Benton Harbor area. I have horrible night vision to start with, and then if it's snowing I can't see for shit and end up driving white-knuckled with my teeth clenched.

Another anxiety is that I'm bringing Spaz and it's going to take a lot of planning to pack him up. He weighs over 13 lbs, and I had to get him a dog-sized carrier so he could stand up in it comfortably, and that thing is not easy to carry at all. Plus, it is so cold outside that I need to cover the crate with a huge blanket so cold air doesn't get in (last year I thought he'd be okay for a few minutes but he got so sick I had to call the emergency vet on Thanksgiving night at midnight. It was awful. He was hardly breathing and we couldn't wake him up even though we were shaking him violently, and then we couldn't get him to eat or drink. So this year I have to plan ahead.) I think what I need to do is get the car and heat it up and stay in it while it runs, because this is Chicago you know, and have Scott lock up and bring Spaz down in his blanket-covered carrier. It sounds stupid, but I really have to plan the entire packing part of our trip. It's not like my parents live the next city over, and if we forget anything we are screwed.

So we should arrive in MI around 1am eastern time, then I have to wake up at 8 to start laundry (which I tried to do this afternoon but there was a note on the laundry room door that said both washing machines are broken -- balls!) and go to the store to buy things for my pies. I need to start the pies by 10am so that they can be out of the oven and cooled and ready to go so that I can make it to Scott's parents' by 2pm. Then it's off to my grandma's by 5 and hopefully we won't have to go anywhere else after that. I am going to need a few hours to breathe!

Friday I'm kind of leaving up in the air, although there is a knitting store in Plymouth I want to go to. Friday night is my annual bar night with friends, which I'm pretty excited about. When I made reservations I said probably 20-25 people, but we are at 30 already, easily. I am kind of dreading going to the bar, because the smoke is god-awful. My contacts dry out, my throat gets so sore I can't swallow, my stomach hurts so bad I want to puke, and I smell like shit. I freaking HATE HATE HATE being in smoky bars. This never bothered me before or while I smoked, but now that I'm an ex-smoker (13 months since my last one!) I am highly sensitive to it. I hate that most of my Michigan friends smoke, and I hate that the only social things they want to do involve going to smoky bars or diners. I hate coming home at 3 in the morning and having to do laundry and shower. HATE IT. But I love them so I swallow all of this crap and blog about it instead.

Ugh. Stress. Holiday stress, more specifically. I don't know when this started for me, how many years ago it was that I felt the need to make everything perfect around the holidays. I think it was after I moved out, and felt like I needed to recreate the warmth and magic of holidays with my family, but in reality I just feel empty. It's not the same. Decorating the tree, making pies, Christmas shopping... I guess it's time to start making new memories and new traditions of my own. A tradition of driving 600 miles, haha.

Time to start packing.

Halloween

Kendall: DOOD
i could be a cop too
and then we could be the KARMA police
lol
wed have to alter the costumes though
so people would know we werent just regular po po


margaret: AHAHAHAHAHAH


Kendall: =)


margaret: that's ridiculous


Kendall: maybe next year
think about it
im all for it =)
we'd run around yelling "this is what you get!"


margaret: AHAH

Higher Powers

It seems like every time I come to Michigan something always goes wrong. Something that makes me think I really should have just stayed at home. It used to be Amtrak turning 4.5 hour trips into 8 hour trips, so then I started driving. Then my car broke down in Saywer, so then I started taking Megabus. Then there was the time I drove all the way in to go camping with my family, and 15 miles from the campground my mom called to say my dad was in the hospital with a ruptured disk and the trip was off.

This time gets the prize, though. My bus was only 15 minutes late getting to Ann Arbor, only my mom had driven to the Amtrak station to pick me up, not the bus lot, so I had to wait 45 minutes for her to figure out where she was and how to get to me. Then, instead of turning right and merging on the freeway, she turned left and drove through downtown Ann Arbor which took half an hour alone. We had planned to go to the apple orchard but by the time we got out of there it was already closed. Later, Lauren and I went to rent a movie but Entertainment Tonight was closed. As in, SHUT DOWN. I couldn't believe it! It's always been there, always open. You could always count on running into someone you knew there, and it was a cornerstone of my high school years. And it's gone. It wasn't just that that made me sad. My elementary school is gone, Wonderland mall is gone, the Quo Vadis is gone... It's like nothing is left of my childhood. At least my parents still live in their house!

Anyway, after we stared at the empty shell of ET for a few minutes, we drove to Family Video and walked around for 45 minutes until we decided on two movies to rent. We walked up to the counter and gave our phone number and the guy said we weren't on the account. Now, we both know for sure that we are on the Family Video account for our family so we made him verify the phone number and he verified we are not on it. He said he needed to call the number and ask the person who is listed if we can rent under the account. We said that was fine 'cuz it was the house number and our dad was home. So the guy called and asked for JON Bailey, and my dad said Jon wasn't there. Because Jon doesn't even live there anymore! And the guy said he had two young ladies (haha thanks, guy) there who wanted to rent and he needed to talk to Jon. He started to raise his voice with my dad and hung up, then turned to us and said he was sorry but couldn't rent to us. So I got snotty and told him to have a nice night, jerk. Well, the jerk part I just thought to myself, but he was a jerk! He could have offered to open an account in my name, but he didn't, so he lost our business.

So we drove to the other Family Video on Inkster and Ann Arbor Trail where our friend from church is a manager there. We verified that our names were both on the account, which they were. Apparetnly at Family Video you can only rent from the location where you opened your account. Blah. So we got our movies and got the H out of there.

This is the best part: Today I had a dental cleaning scheduled for 10am with a girl I love. As you can tell from my last post, I hate hate HATE getting my teeth cleaned, and I spent $60 on a bus ticket to have them cleaned specifically by her. (The dental appointment was the whole reason I came home this weekend.) Well, at 8:45am the office called and said the hygenist couldn't find a sitter and couldn't come in today and they had to cancel. I asked if there was anyone else who could see me today, since I came all the way from Chicago, and they said no, they were booked. And the next Saturday appointment they have available is in January, and it's not even with the girl I like. So it looks like I'm going to have to leave the dentist I've been going to since I was 5 and find a new scary one in Chicago. This pretty much TERRIFIES me. Blah.

It's still a worthwile weekend, however. I love spending time with my family, especially my sisters. Lauren and I got Coldstone yesterday and rocked out to the Top Gun soundtrack in my mom's car for about an hour, and Kirsten has Homecoming today. I even saw Jon for a few minutes! I'm really glad I'm here, even if everything didn't go as planned.

Tagged by Jules

The "rules" of the game are as follows:
1. Post the rules on your blog.
2. Write 6 random things about yourself.
3. Tag 6 people at the end of your post.
4. If you're tagged, DO IT and pass on the tag.

Alright, here are six random things:
1. I can't whistle.
2. I have severe anxiety about getting my teeth cleaned. If I could, I would get a general anesthsia to have it done.
3. I'm pretty much allergic to everything (no food allergies though, thank god!)
4. I've seen the Dalai Lama.
5. I'm seriously considering moving to Vancouver, depending on the outcome of this election.
6. I can't watch any movie that Hilary Swank is in, because I can't look at her.

Time for the tagging:
Kat! Because you and Jules are the only people who read my blog, and Julie already did it. =)

Baby Mama

It's a good thing I watched it alone, because I cried through at least half of it. It's a comedy. And I cried through it.